So this morning I burnt my ear. I know, big deal. But, whilst running around holding a bag of ice on my head I thought about how hard it would be to only have one arm. So, here is my one armed morning routine.

6:30 – Get up early to curl hair. Burn my ear.

6:32 – Run to the bathroom and attempt to fit my head under the tap.

6:34 – Attempt fails.

6:35 – Wets a tissue and put it on ear.

6:37 – Go back to my room and realise I’m still in pain so go and get Mother.

6:40 – Mother puts frozen spinach on ear.

6:41 – Holds bag on ear with right hand and try and do everything else with the left.

6:45 – Attempt one armed make up (the key word here is attempt).

6:46 – Give up.

6:50 – Put freshly curled hair up in a bun because it keeps getting stuck in the ear cream. Eww.

7:00 – Make breakfast. Well try and make breakfast.

7:10 – Spill yoghurt down leg because you have no control over your freekin’ left hand.

7:15 – Stop your cat trying to lick the curling wand. Stupid cat.

7:20 – Smother your now numb ear with cream.

7:25 – Eat breakfast.

7:40 – Try and brush teeth but fail miserably because you are using your STUPID LEFT HAND.

7:45 – Put frozen spinach back in freezer for the next person to have burnt ear tasting spinach.

7:47 – Run out the door and go to school.

So there we go, a great insight into the life of clumsy me…

2 thoughts on “Pardon…?

  1. Clumsy me again I uploaded this to pages! *Smacks hand on forehead*. Here are the comments:

    Mir Fleur:
    Hope your ear is better! Your comment about one armed make-up gave me an idea for a charity event at work – One Armed Make-Up Day. (Non-dominant hand, obviously). Mind you, my work colleagues will probably tell me they can’t tell the difference…)


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